Doing it All. Doing it Well.

It’s all about balance. I find myself looking forward to all the things I want to accomplish this year and my mind starts spinning. What do I need to get this done and how quickly can I realize these goals? The next thing I know I’m feeling overwhelmed and defeated by my lack of accomplishment. Patience? Not so much. I’m working on that too.

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a life balance workshop facilitated by a wonderful friend of mine. Later that day, with another friend I attended  a chakra workshop with Dr. Jelusich. That indeed, was a good day for a lot of self awareness. The good news is that after some analysis, I am more balanced than I thought. My advice to myself was to slow down and appreciate how lucky I am

.music of life by Eddi van W.

music of life, a photo by Eddi van W. on Flickr.

The bad news, I still need more patience.

In my life balancing workshop I confirmed that I’m very aware that I need to exercise more. Who doesn’t right? The difference is, I’m starting to feel bad about it now. Move more. That’s the first and most basic advice I’ve ever heard as a first step to getting more fit. Move more. Ok. I did get myself to the climbing gym for the past three weeks, which is very rewarding. Feeling all those muscles recover from such a great workout pays off in so many ways. Of course the definition in my back, shoulders and arms is super cool. The best part though, is the confidence and energy I have when I start pushing myself to new challenges both in the gym and out. So, off to the gym I go to get more fit and find that balance between doing and being.

I am getting to some heavy topics in this blog again soon.  My relationship with Little Warriors is moving forward and my thoughts are organizing themselves around some very important steps in my own healing. I have been stalling and I’m not sure why. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been having some flashbacks to my abuse lately and I don’t want them to get worse or more frequent. However, I now feel I have to risk it. Possibly, the flashbacks are what I need to write about for them to lose their shock value. Articulating these images and emotions from so long ago is more than nerve racking. However, I feel this is integral for my own healing, helping others to heal, and for some to be aware of those that need help.

Things are coming together for me on this journey of love and healing….however slowly.