My Father Friend requested me!

42 Days of Teresa – Day 32

Can you believe that?  My father, my abuser, casually sends a Facebook friend request to me. No message or context. Truly it happened months ago but I’m writing about it now.  I can say that it surprised me. Then, the strangest thing happened that surprised me even more.  I laughed. I laughed at the realization that I wasn’t upset, traumatized, scared or angry. I just see this friend request on my laptop screen, in my hotel during a vacation.  I had just been offline for about 10 days and was catching up on whatever I had missed in my online worlds. All I could think was, “Wow, he’s got some serious nerve.  Did he honestly think we’d just start being virtual buddies?”  It was absurd….and laughable.

I’ve had plenty of time to think about this request since then.  I confirmed for myself that I have truly healed regarding the abuse from my father.  I wasn’t re-traumatized and was able to function in all other aspects of my life in a healthy way even though I hadn’t responded to this friend request.  Even seeing pictures of the man that physically, emotionally and sexually abused me for so many years, didn’t cause me any anxiety or panic attacks. I was truly grateful for this.  Without having any actual contact with him since charging him for sexual assault at 16 years old, I sometimes wondered if I had really emotionally healed or found another way to block out my feelings where he was concerned.  I feel confident that I have moved forward. Do I need to tell him any of this?  I don’t believe so.  My ability to move on and accept that I have forgiven him doesn’t mean that I need to redraw any boundaries where he is concerned.  In a big way, he has fulfilled all that he was meant to do for me in my life.

I am grateful for this personal confirmation.  I am grateful to be able to share this here.  My journey of healing has been long and I have survived and become powerful in my own right.