Personal Retreat- musings #3

Slow down to Speed up.  This seems to be a theme for me lately.  I needed to find the calm so I can clarify what it is that I want to achieve.  I also needed to slow down and appreciate the many wonderful things about my life not instead of always looking ahead to what I expect will be “better”.  In taking this time for myself, I was able to realize that I have been spending my energy in too many directions and burning myself out. I have also been self sabotaging myself and in turn, creating in-action.  It all comes down to one main F word. FEAR.  damn it.  I know it. I’m standing in my own way.  I need to step back from a few roles that I have assumed, specifically in volunteering.  As much as I enjoy the connection I have to my community and the groups that have become so integral to my family, I am dividing up my energy to the point that I burn out.  I need to focus.

The vision I have for helping those on their journey of healing after sexual trauma is spreading across my heart and I know it what I need to do.  I have discovered that I am able to discuss openly and in a raw way, many of the aspects of abuse.  In this, I am able to help others find their voice, and they are able to connect to others, and so on and so on.  I see a lot of healing for survivors and those that support those survivors.

In taking the time to quiet my environment, simplify things and focus on where my energy is happiest, I have found myself.  I am grateful.